Time changes everything

One year ago I was so broken down I couldn't clearly see things ever coming around. One year ago I had quit my job, packed up my home and was waiting on my golden ticket to come to the magical land of the UAE. I waited 5months for this ticket. I was pushed to the edge of my sanity, patience and faith in people. Sleep was a rarity. Seeing people during those months was very painful. I felt like a fool. Honestly who gives up a steady job in the hopes of traveling to another country to work and not know if it will even work out? Especially after purchasing and renovating a home and having lived in it less than a year. Who does such a thing? As it turns out, there are thousands of us that do this all the time. We're all over the world. We pack up a few possessions, call up all the courage we have, kiss our loved ones good-bye and step out into the unknown. We faulter. We flounder. We cry. We laugh. We make new and amazing connections. We form new friends. We live. All the pain and anxiety I felt a year ago is far from forgotten but the sting isn't fresh as before. I am so blessed to have the family I do. My every supportive parents. My sister who was literally there no matter what. My older brothers who offered words of encouragement but new not to press for details 'cause it was far too painful to talk about. My Haven and Pops who were wonderful distractions in their little child way. My friends who let me be crazy and helped me to forget my situation from time to time. Time has changed so much. Things have improved and I am ever greatful to these people for pulling me through those long hard 5 months.

If you are not willing to risk, you cannot grow

and if you cannot grow, you cannot be happy

and if you cannot be happy,

what else is there?

-Les Brown

 (c/o William Hardrick)

Literacy-the gift that keeps on giving

I've taken up journaling again. I've started and stopped at various points in my life but it's always been helpful. Tonight as I was writing my latest entry I could not help but think about how great I feel when it's all out..everything that I keep bottled in and don't really feel the need to share with anyone. Then it hit me. This is part of the gift I am imparting to my kids. I'm giving them the opportunity to form thoughts, opinions and have private counselling sessions in two languages. These babies will be able to reach for words and concepts in English and Arabic. They will be able to express their thoughts, opinions and emotions on paper as well as orally. How wonderful is that? A whole world of knowledge and mode of expression will be open to them because of the gift of literacy.

Praise God/Alhumdulillah for the gift of literacy.

Goodbye Ramadan

We lost probably the sweetest guys I've ever met. One of our security guards at our school will no longer be there. His presence has been and will continue to be missed by all who knew him. I remember him helping me put up my kids work last year after everyone had left and I was there alone trying to prepare the physical environment for two classrooms. He always had a ready smile for everyone and pitched in without being asked. It is truly a sad day for the children and staff of Al Jinan.

Amen!

My Wish list

All I want is
-Kinky Curly Come Clean shampoo
-Kinky Curly Knot Today conditioner
-100% Acrylic Black Yarn
-The Science of Black Hair by Audrey Davis-Sivasothy

Address to follow...

Revelation!

Trumpets make me happy! lol No really listen to them. Got my morning dance on now off to work.

Surrender

I had a conversation today with one of the new LTs at my school. It was one of those typical on the fly, we've got a million things to do before getting back to class, conversations. This woman is a great teacher from what I've seen thus far but she has a tough class. It's like the universe pulled together the perfect storm of difficult to handle kindergarteners and put them in her class. I feel for her as a fellow teacher but  especially coming off my perfect storm last school year. Anyway, during our conversation I told her it will get better but only when you surrender. It's a must. You must surrender the way you've done it before. It worked, yes....before...in the US but it won't work here. You must hold onto the core of what you know is good teaching but work within the confines of what we have here. You must surrender. I know that was a hard thing for me to do but it happened. If you don't surrender you'll grow tired very quickly and lose focus on why you came here. I also told her to surrender the independence we're so accustomed to having. We're always a step or two behind. The ladies we work with have the upper hand in language, cultural experience and interpersonal connections. We cannot be completely independent. Interdependence is the name of the game here. It makes life so much easier when you realize there are folks out there ready and willing to help you. It's even better is when they're willing to push through the cultural and language barrier to be there for you, to console you, to rejoice with you and to just chat about life. So surrender my dear LTs and enjoy the ride. 'Cause as hard as this is, as teachers we know the reward is well worth it.

It's Good to be the Boss...

Well it's good to be the boss' kid. Today we had a surprise, surprise for the LTs too by the way but anyway, for a child in my class. Yes, the ENTIRE school day stopped and the daughter of principal had a surprise birthday party put together by the Arabic staff. Even her mom had no idea what was happening until she walked into the breakfast room where we had all gathered to celebrate. Now in true LT fashion all we could think was "and we have to teach them after this? After they intake large amounts of sugar and are denied their recess time 'cause of this party...oh boy." Either way the kids had a good time and my principal was very pleased. And hey, cake is ALWAYS a good thing!

So did you live in a hut? Did you hunt lions?

Coming to the USA I had the shock of my 5 year old life. I had so many stupid questions and downright mean comments from people. My clothes were never quite right, though I never really cared. My name was odd and too long. Why couldn't I be Laura, Becky, Susan, Vanessa people wondered(the polite ones privately and the asses out loud, to my FACE!) and over the years I still get this one so I've developed several logical replies...
My name has significance in my family
There's a vowel for every consonant
It has the same number of letters as Elizabeth
Deciding whomever is complaining/commenting has limited mental capacity (my personal favorite)
Ignoring folks till they at least give it a try

I learned early on that I did not fit in with the US kids. Now the flip side is having been in the US so long and raised in a small midwestern town, I can't really relate to many of my Liberian peers either. So like the man in black I walk the line. At all times. I must. I have learned which labels apply to me and which don't. I take on those that fit and deflect those that don't. I've had over 20 years of practice walking this line. I have always been as American as I have been a foreigner. I've learned to accept that. Being here in the UAE is rather comforting. Why? Almost everyone is a foreigner and those who children who were born and raised here must also walk the line. They will NEVER be Emirati. Yet this may be all they know. They must balance what they know of this country with what the culture of their forefathers. It's a difficult road to travel.

Why this post? I read a post by an LT that reminded me once again that though I am an American over here when push comes to shove, I am an African...the least desired of all races or so some would think. It hurt my heart so...it snapped me back from my false sense of brother/sisterhood with those I've met over here. That's the funny thing about the internet, it makes relationships seem real when they aren't smh. Either way. I am proud to be Liberian. As equally proud as I am to be American. This is my fate. I walk the line.

PS-No I never lived in a hut nor did I hunt in the jungle...smh

Naptime folks

This is how both my coteacher and I felt by the time the kids left. We pushed through though and got work done but ugh man it's time for a well deserved nap.

Ma as-salaamah peeps