Wishin' and Hopin' and Thinkin' and Prayin'

So I have come to the realization that the this adventure, though greatly desired, is taking a major toll on my psychi and body. I've never been one who likes change...at least that's what I've always said yet looking back at the choices I've made over the past 6 years I've done nothing but constantly change. I've moved so many times I've stopped counting. I've gone from spending every other Sat at the salon to ensure that every strand on my head is bone straight to embrassing every nape, coil and curl I was born with. I've had surgery and medications that have forced me to change the way I live my life. I've gone from stary-eyed young married woman to bruised divorce. I've changed the population of students taught from small town kids, to inner-city kids to middle class kids all with crazy parents of varying degrees. So really thought I was prepared for the space between...the change. I'm beginning to see my control oriented side rear it's ugly head. Yes! I am very excited about this new venture but what I've come to realize in the past few weeks is that with all the changes I've gone through the past few years I've always had some type of control. That wonderful notion kept me calm. It allowed me to sleep at night confident in whatever it was I was doing. This change however is a whole different animal. This animal is as slow as molasses in January.This animal is quiet yet causes me to lose sleep nightly. I know I know this is something I wanted, applied for, flew to Atlanta to get but now that I have it don't know if I can take it. I want to say that I trust that everything will turn out fine but I cannot. I am a realist and though I pray for the best I plan for the worst but in this case I am unable to do even that. I know of only one cure for this anxiety I feel but am powerless to administer it thus here is sit wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin', plannin' and dream my ticket will come...