I don't like conflict. Confrontation makes me queasy. I know I can be very passive but at the same time I've not one to be trampled over. Today when confronted with a most unprofessional coworker I was waited the recommended cooling off period, thought through what it was that bothered me, the changes I needed to see made and how to approach her while remaining calm. Now when the incident occured my gut instinct was to take her on then and there. To put her in her place. I'm proud to say I fought the urge...as strong as it was. 'Cause my people she was DEAD WRONG! You don't BLAME other's for YOUR mistakes!!!!
Interestingly (or should I say to the surprise of no one) enough when I finally talked to her, alone(giving her the professional courtesy she denied us), she instinctively put up her defences and stood her ground refusing to listen to what I was saying. I finally shook my head and returned to my task...I refuse to talk to brick walls. That's just insane. However, for some reason that caused her to relent and say she'll trying harder to be more sensitive. It was not sincere at all...I was so disgusted. I told her to just continue to be her and clearly my concerns were not important. I put my headphones back on and went back to completing the paperwork I was working on. I'm not going to fight with anyone. It's not worth it. I know how the game goes and I can play it very well. I'm very skilled at blocking out the unpleasant and focusing on the positive. I'm so glad I have Sherine(our music teacher). She's full of life and makes me smile no matter what!
I pity her though. She's not making any allies over here. Fear is not respect but it seems she prefers fear. Too bad for her, she has neither from me. I can't think of anyone I actually fear and she surely won't be the first! Either way I know I'm dealing with her and everyone(good, bad and everything in between) else to prepare me for whatever it is the next step of this journey has in store for me. I'm really starting to think more seriously about my next steps...not any time soon mind you but still...
Interestingly (or should I say to the surprise of no one) enough when I finally talked to her, alone(giving her the professional courtesy she denied us), she instinctively put up her defences and stood her ground refusing to listen to what I was saying. I finally shook my head and returned to my task...I refuse to talk to brick walls. That's just insane. However, for some reason that caused her to relent and say she'll trying harder to be more sensitive. It was not sincere at all...I was so disgusted. I told her to just continue to be her and clearly my concerns were not important. I put my headphones back on and went back to completing the paperwork I was working on. I'm not going to fight with anyone. It's not worth it. I know how the game goes and I can play it very well. I'm very skilled at blocking out the unpleasant and focusing on the positive. I'm so glad I have Sherine(our music teacher). She's full of life and makes me smile no matter what!
I pity her though. She's not making any allies over here. Fear is not respect but it seems she prefers fear. Too bad for her, she has neither from me. I can't think of anyone I actually fear and she surely won't be the first! Either way I know I'm dealing with her and everyone(good, bad and everything in between) else to prepare me for whatever it is the next step of this journey has in store for me. I'm really starting to think more seriously about my next steps...not any time soon mind you but still...
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